What did the grooms pay for at the wedding, or Strange bride ransoms that existed in Russia

2024 Author: Richard Flannagan | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-15 23:55

Wedding ceremonies in Russia took pride of place. Centuries have passed, and today people are still shouting "Bitter!" As newlyweds, stealing the bride, throwing grain at the young. No less popular is the so-called ransom of the bride, when the groom must pay for the right to possess his beloved. Read what men paid for in the old days to marry a lady of their heart, what abuse is and why it has nothing to do with abuse, how suitors sawed a goat and what difficulties lay in wait for them on the way to their chosen one.

How veno turned into kalym

The ransom that the groom had to pay for the bride was called veno in Russia. So it was until the Mongol-Tatar invasion began. Gradually, the word "veno" disappeared, and in its place came the more familiar to our ear term from the Turkic language - "kalym". In general, the ritual of ransom for the bride came from paganism, when there was a ban on the conclusion of closely related marriages. To find a worthy bride, the groom had to visit neighboring communities and tribes, where he tried to persuade the girl's parents to marry her and let her go with him. The bride went to foreign lands, and for this it was necessary to pay. They tried to financially motivate the relatives so that they would give permission for this.

Only after all the conditions were agreed with the elders of the clan (and this is just about how big the kalym will be), the future husband and wife began preparations for the wedding. During the ceremony, you also had to pay ransoms, but they were rather symbolic, and they will be described below. There is a very interesting nuance: initially, according to the Muslim tradition, the kalym collected by the groom did not go to the bride's relatives, but was given to the girl herself. Even if she left her husband's house, then she took the kalym with her. But gradually this offering began to be considered the property of the bride's parents and relatives. Those without embarrassment asked the groom for a "contribution" in the form of money and livestock, did not disdain expensive jewelry and even any household and household utensils. Naturally, the size was in direct proportion to how rich the groom's family was and to a lesser extent on the feelings of the future husband. During matchmaking, the size of the kalym was negotiated and could no longer change.

Swearing is not swearing, but a wedding ceremony

During a traditional Slavic wedding, the groom had to pay a wedding ransom called swearing. It was a funny production, a whole performance with a strict script. All participants had their own role and had to fulfill it. The idea was that the groom and his boyfriend had to go through a series of fun obstacles designed to test important qualities. How smart and strong is the groom, savvy, and, most importantly, generous? This was verified during the ceremony.

In different regions of Russia, wedding traditions could differ from each other, but the basis of abuse was the same everywhere. And today, when organizing a celebration, they often come up with a cheerful scenario according to which the groom must show his best qualities in order to finally find his bride. True, it is not in a hut, but in a restaurant or a modern apartment, and at the entrance is not a wooden cart with horses, but a modern limousine decorated with ribbons. In recent decades, weddings, held according to old Slavic scenarios, have become fashionable. And this is very cool and interesting!

Do you want to enter the house - pay

So, there were various obstacles on the way of the groom to his chosen one. One of them was this: when a good fellow came to the house of his betrothed, it turned out that the gates and doors were tightly closed. How do I sign in? I had to negotiate and give "bribes". For the children who met the groom in the courtyard, sweets were intended, which were stored in advance. But as for the relatives of the bride, then they had to solve difficult riddles. Most often, they were thought of by the senior representatives of the family, but the brothers of the bride-in-law could also take part. Correct answers convinced those present that the groom is smart and quick-witted. Answered wrong - it doesn't matter.

One could buy a clue, for example, by paying a ransom to the brothers of his beloved. When the riddles were finished, there came a moment of appeasing the sisters and bridesmaids, who were waiting for their turn in the hope of getting delicious treats. Of course, they got them. After all, the wedding day was an important stage in the life of two families who were to become related.

Why did the suitors saw the goat

In the old days, the groom came to the bride's house on the so-called wedding train - this was the name of the wedding procession. Horses dragged suitably decorated carts. The first stop of the train was before entering the village, and not because the participants wanted to. Just relatives of the bride and fellow villagers stood on the road, blocking the path of the procession. To let the groom pass, he had to pay a ransom to open the road. People parted, and then another obstacle appeared. Looking ahead, the groom and his friends had to cut the goat into pieces. No, of course, we are not talking about an animal with horns, but only about logs that were laid out on the road in the form of a goat. They should have been cut, and this should be done within the time allotted by the relatives. How else could the wedding procession pass along the road? So the groom could show that he is strong and not afraid of physical work, and also that he really wants to see the bride as soon as possible.

When the assignment was completed, the wedding train continued on its way. Sometimes, along the way, the groom met other trials. For example, a comic fist fight with the bride's relatives. I had to do something nice for future relatives and lose. So merrily, with the ringing of bells and laughter, the procession came to the bride's house.

Well, when the marriage has already taken place, everything along the lines of the husband and wife becomes a family. But it's hard not to get confused what kind of relatives were called, and who was in charge of the house.