Wedding in Russia. Why did the best man run to the bedside of the young and why was the inventory of the dowry made?

2024 Author: Richard Flannagan | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-15 23:55

Wedding customs even in pre-revolutionary Russia cannot be called wild and unacceptable for modern people. Still, to the traditions justifying bride theft, forced marriage, the right of the first night is very far away, but there are nuances that seem very funny. At a time when the bride's innocence was considered almost the main condition for a happy marriage, the personal boundaries of the newlyweds were violated all the time, often for no apparent reason, just out of curiosity.

In pre-revolutionary Russia, only church marriage was valid, about which there was a note in the parish register, everything else was considered cohabitation, had no legal force and was considered sinful. It was possible to marry girls from 16 years old and boys from 18 years old, the maximum age for marriage was set - 80 years. A prerequisite was the consent to marriage not only of the future spouses themselves, but also of their parents. If it was found that the parents forced their children to marry, they could get up to one and a half years in prison, but the marriage was declared fictitious. However, there were very few actual complaints about forced marriage. After all, all this took place behind closed doors, and the methods of pressure were very sophisticated, therefore it cannot be said that marriages in tsarist Russia were concluded solely for the love and mutual consent of the spouses.

How did the bride and groom meet?

Without brushing aside the fact that marriageable girls and grooms did not interfere with getting to know each other in ordinary life and like each other, as it always was, it is worth noting that there were many more ways to get a couple. At that time, they approached marriage more rationally, no search for half and love for life. If a guy and a girl belong to the same class, the parents approve of the marriage, and the young ones like each other in the slightest degree, then there will be a wedding!

Matchmakers at that time were people of a demanded profession, because only they had a database of all brides and grooms in the district of a certain level of financial wealth. But by the beginning of the 20th century, matchmakers began to squeeze out of their market "Bracnaya Gazeta". It published announcements of potential brides and grooms, so it was much cheaper to find a mate than through a matchmaker, and besides, there was a chance for unpromising (from the point of view of the matchmaker) candidates. But at the same time, there was a great risk of running into a homeless woman, ruined nobles and other personalities not in demand in the marriage market.

Among the nobles were held in high esteem "Fairs of Brides" - secular seasons, which ended with weddings, meant one thing - the bride. Matchmakers also actively worked here, who did not miss the mass festivities and could find out all the information about the candidate they liked. In St. Petersburg, in the Summer Garden on Spirits Day, grooms lined up along two sides of the alley, and brides and their families allegedly walked by, matchmakers immediately told potential grooms about girls and their families. Young people from the working and peasant environment met on their own during parties or in church. A fundamental role in matchmaking was played by the girl's dowry, given that all estates, without exception, were most actively looking for a soul mate, parents, this is not surprising.

The dowry is not about love

Despite the fact that the dowry still exists, at that time the attitude towards it was very scrupulous and pragmatic. The bride could be good, but if the dowry pumped up, then she would have to wait for the groom for a long time. The husband or his family had to fully support the future wife, even if later they separated. Some families, giving brides, demanded a certain amount as confirmation of the groom's solvency, among Muslims this is called kalym. But this was not widespread, it was enough that the wife entered the full support of her husband. Therefore, there were fewer questions to the side of the spouse, but the dowry with which the bride entered the house of the future husband was dealt with in more detail.

The dowry completely depended on the financial capabilities of the bride's family, if the family was rich, then the girl could bring family allotments, cattle, jewelry, silverware, bills of exchange, dresses, linen, and whole villages to her husband's family. If the family was rich, then the father could write off the dowry to his daughter at birth. If the family did not have the opportunity to allocate a rich dowry, then most often it included "female" tools for work, for example, a spinning wheel. It was considered the norm that an inventory should be added to the dowry (it's good that not an act of acceptance and transfer). However, the contractual relationship did not bother anyone, because the marriage deal was carried out on the basis of an inventory of the dowry and the transfer of ownership. The dowry remained forever the property of the woman and her husband, and his parents could not dispose of it without her consent. If the dowry brought income, then it was divided evenly between the spouses, and the wife's income or her dowry, in the event of her husband's bankruptcy, could not be written off as debts.

It's time for the wedding

After all the financial issues were settled, they proceeded directly to the wedding. From that time on, the groom could already visit the bride's house with or without reason, however, it was not accepted to come empty-handed, he usually brought flowers and sweets.

Invitations to guests were sent out on behalf of parents 7-10 days before the celebration. The groom was preparing a special box with candles, rings and a comb. In addition, the groom came to the church earlier and from there informed the bride that he had arrived with a bouquet of white flowers - they were passed on through the boyfriend. Until the gifts arrived, the bride did not start getting ready, which meant that the groom changed his mind about getting married. In Russian culture, there are many paintings with a similar plot, when the bride at the window is not waiting for the groom, but for the best man. If we are talking about peasants, then they had to get permission not only from their parents, but also from the landlord and the priest. By the way, it was the latter who was responsible for collecting data on the groom: is he married, has he promised to marry someone else, is he a relative of the bride.

The wedding night

Despite the fact that some feudal lords reserved the right to the first wedding night, the church did not welcome this and it cannot be said that this was the norm. The Church exalted the marriage concluded according to her canons and endowed it with the sacrament, and the marriage bed with the priesthood. The date of the wedding was carefully chosen, as the church forbade marriage on certain days, for example, during fasting or religious holidays, so any date was not suitable.

From among the matchmakers, women were chosen, who were to prepare a bed for the newlyweds. The bed was from the bride's dowry, and the territory was from the groom. The territory is because the reunification of the young did not take place in the house, well, really interrupt the celebration for the first wedding night and leave the master's house? Therefore, the young were laid anyhow where. More often it was a cool place - a barn, a closet, a bathhouse, a basement of a hut. That is why the first wedding night was often called the "basement", based on the place and circumstances in which the matrimonial relationship was born. Yes, the matchmakers tried in every possible way to comfort the chosen place, but more often than not it was not at all a place intended for this. The bed of the newlyweds was considered a place not only of sacrament, but also of strength, which is why things were put here that were supposed to attract good luck and wealth to a new family. Flour, a lot of mattresses and featherbeds, and even rye sheaves were used as a talisman. A frying pan and a poker were placed under the bed (although it was more often a flooring) - from the evil eye and evil spirits, the logs, according to legend, symbolized fertility, so they were definitely not spared.

The young people were escorted to the wedding bed right from the holiday, when the guests had not yet dispersed. The best man was supposed to buy the bed from the matchmakers, the newlyweds were accompanied by a whole crowd of drunken relatives and friends. All this was accompanied not only by songs and jokes, but also by advice and greasy jokes. On the door, behind which there were young people, they hung a lock and put a guard, he had not only to protect from evil spirits, but also to drive away those who decided to spy, yes, there were such too. More often than not, the security guard himself carried the news for the festive table - what he managed to overhear or spy on himself. What the young people felt at the same time, especially the daughter-in-law, whose purity and purity were the main condition of marriage, one can only guess. Left alone, the young could have a snack with the food left by them, then the bride had to take off the groom's shoes and ask permission to lie down next to him. The best man ran to find out whether the main action of the whole "performance" had taken place under the door, having received a positive answer, loudly carried her to the table to the crowd of heated relatives. Young people could be taken to the table, or they could enter their cage and celebrate there.

However, another check awaited the young wife, the guests had to show a sheet or shirt with blood stains as proof of the bride's purity and integrity. If there was no evidence, then the matchmaker and the bride's parents were not good at it. A collar could be hung around their necks, and a glass without a bottom could be brought to their father. The girl was returned to her father's house, and her future was doomed. If everything went smoothly, and the guests were satisfied with the result, then the girl was dressed up in the clothes of a married woman, including a special headdress. Since then she was called "young woman" and had all the rights of a young wife. The sheet, on which the "sacrament" had just passed, could be dragged all over the village, pots could be broken (the more shards, the more fertile the new family is), and they could hang snow-white towels with red embroidery. In general, the combination of red and white is considered mourning flowers, so the girl said goodbye to her girlhood.

Young people sometimes conspired and collected blood for a sheet, for example, by slaughtering a rooster the day before. This, by the way, was considered a sure sign of the girl's dishonesty, and gave rise to gossip - if the day before, the girl's family suddenly decided to slaughter chickens. However, if this suited both sides, then as a tribute to traditions there was a place to be. Despite the fact that modern traditions are much softer towards the young, the rites of tsarist Russia also cannot be called wild and terrifying. Marriage was considered a sacred union and was treated accordingly, anxiously protecting the relationship between spouses, periodically instructing both spouses on the right path. A lot of speculation is connected with the life of tsarist Russia, whether in fact Russian women "gave birth in the field" and other myths, in which many still believe.