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Even in the worst times, people find a reason to joke. Over the twelve years of the existence of Nazi Germany, its citizens have come up with dozens of political anecdotes. Some are still funny.
Legal jokesNot every political anecdote in the Third Reich was caught by the police, contrary to popular myth - but not every political anecdote was invented by the opposition. Often, the layman was satisfied with the government's course and he did not see the connection between the implementation of this course and individual daily troubles. Conversely, for those who suffered from the regime or hated it for the suffering of others, a joke was a way to survive colossal stress or to maintain a remnant of dignity.
Here are, for example, anecdotes that could easily sound from the stage in a cafe.
"Two of the shortest books in the world:" Delicious English dishes "and" Modern victories of the Italian army. " - So the Germans laughed at their own allies. It seemed that the Third Reich was not threatened with such disgrace on the battlefields.
“A village old woman asks her school teacher to show her Greater Germany on the globe. The teacher traces his finger across Europe: "See?" “Yes,” the old woman replies. "And this little speck here - this is Great Germany!" - to many, the pathos poured out in the media seemed superfluous.
"Göring recently added an arrow to the awards on his chest: to be continued on the back!" - This anecdote was dedicated to Göring's habit of appearing hung with awards, most of which were honorary, not combat.
“The poster of the Community Fund to Aid the Poor reads:“People should not be allowed to suffer from the cold”. After reading it, the worker says to his friend: "I've seen, now even this has been forbidden to us!" - So the announcements of new restrictions were ridiculed.
"Goebbels reports to Hitler about the readiness for the meeting: - My Fuhrer, 8 thousand stormtroopers are waiting for your orders inside the hall, and 8 thousand outside, in total - 88 thousand stormtroopers are waiting for your order." - Goebbels did not enjoy popular sympathy, and even convinced Nazis did not trust the information that sounded from his lips. Subscriptions, exaggerations, distortions were noticeable to everyone. True, not everyone guessed how great the lie was.
"In Holland, German officers noticed that the Dutch were greeting each other" Heil Rembrandt! " instead of "Heil Hitler!" When a Gollan was asked why he was using the greeting "Heil Rembrandt!" instead of "Ha … eh Hitler!", the Dutchman replied: "You see, we also have a great artist."
But this anecdote was even loyal:
“The British have so many planes, when they are in the air, the sky is not visible. The French have so many planes that the sun cannot be seen when they are in the air. But when Hermann Goering lifts German planes into the air, the birds have to walk on the ground."
Jewish jokesThe jokes the Jews told were jokes on the brink of the grave, and many of the storytellers understood this. The humor in them is distinguished by gloom, it was not designed for laughter at all, although it often contained gloomy hope.
“Adolf Hitler, Hermann Goering and Joseph Goebbels are sitting in a restaurant. At the next table, they see an interesting woman and begin to argue whether she is Aryan or Jewish. Goebbels is going to put an end to the dispute. He sits down at a table with a lady and asks: "Do you know when the Jews have their biggest holiday?" - "When the three of you are not in this world."
“Two Jews are awaiting execution, and suddenly they are informed that at the last moment the method of execution was changed to hanging. One of the condemned turns to the other and says: "Look, they've run out of cartridges!"
“A Swiss, who came to visit a Jewish friend living in the Third Reich, asks him:“Well, how do you live under the Nazis?”“Like a worm,”he replies. “Every day, I wriggle my way through the brown mass and wait to be thrown out of my body.”
Even such a really witty joke makes you wonder with horror what the fighter did to the Jew after such a daring answer:
“The SA fighter is trying to provoke a Jewish man: - Hey, Jew, come on, tell me, who is to blame for losing the [First World] War? - Jewish generals, of course! - he answers. - Good, good! - says the SA fighter, surprised by this answer. - But tell me, we didn’t seem to have Jewish generals at all?
Jokes from the opposition“Adolf Hitler decided to visit a crazy house. Before his visit, the patients underwent educational work. Arriving at the mad house, the Fuhrer gladly walked past a number of people with their hands raised in greeting, until he came to a man standing with his hands at his seams. "Why don't you shout Ha … eh Hitler ?!" - "And I'm not crazy, I'm an orderly!" - This joke does not seem so funny when you remember what the Nazis did with the patients of neuropsychiatric clinics.
"A true Aryan must be blond like Hitler, tall like Goebbels, slender like Goering and chaste like Rem."
“Question: Hitler, Goering and Goebbels are sitting in a bunker. If a bomb hits the bunker directly, who will be saved? Answer: Germany!"
"At a press conference, Goebbels says to an American journalist: - If your Roosevelt got himself an SS, like Hitler, you would not have had any gangsters for a long time! - Exactly - they would all serve as Standartenführer!"
The jokes for which, according to one of these jokes, one could get two months in Dachau, often revolved around a direct insult to the government:
"Winston Churchill to Rudolph Hess: you are a psychopath!" Hess: well, what are you! I am his secretary."
“Hitler was driving in a car along a road somewhere in the countryside. Suddenly a pig jumped out onto the road and the driver did not have time to brake: the pig died. Hitler ordered the chauffeur to track down the owners of the pig and inform them of what had happened. The driver left. After 2 hours, he returned drunk and with a basket of various goodies. Hitler asks him: "What happened?" The drunken driver replied: “My Fuhrer, I don't remember anything. I only remember, I went into the house and said: Ha … eh Hitler! The pig is dead!"
"A German who publicly called Göring a pig is being tried on two counts: insulting a government official and divulging state secrets."
A more offensive version of the anecdote was from the regime haters about the Dutch:
"In Holland, German officers noticed that the Dutch were greeting each other" Heil Rembrandt! " instead of "Heil Hitler!" When a Gollan was asked why he was using the greeting "Heil Rembrandt!" instead of "Heil Hitler!", the Dutchman replied: "He, at least, knew how to draw."
Jokes at the end of the warEven those Germans who shared Nazi beliefs - the bulk of the inhabitants - at the end of the war began to be pessimistic about their government, army and future. Meanwhile, it was at the end of the war that the authorities began to persecute literally any political anecdotes.
Here is a joke from the last days of the war. “How to get from the Eastern Front to the Western? By tram."
"When you see a green plane, it's the US Air Force, when you see a brown plane, it's the British Air Force, when you don't see a single plane, it's the Luftwaffe."
“One German asks another: - What will you do after the war? - I will finally take a vacation and go on a trip to Greater Germany - Well, in the morning it is clear. And after lunch, what are you going to do?"
"- Mr. Feldwebel, food for half the company! - The soldier to feed after the attack." - here not only the terrible losses of the German army are made fun of, but there is also a hidden accusation that they are associated with a not very competent economic approach: a hungry soldier will not fight much. At the end of the war, everyone was already talking about how and how much the officials of the Third Reich were stealing. At the same time, speech about the need to save people's reserves was heard from each loudspeaker.
“A man, a Catholic, comes to church, to a priest and brings him a radio set, and he says to him: my son, why a radio set? He says: Padre, he must repent, he lied a lot lately. " - anecdote from 1944.
At the end of the war, almost not a single German believed what the official propaganda was saying, although it was delivered very well in the Third Reich. For example, documentary photographs of how the enemy military correspondents worked during the Great Patriotic War.