10 emperors of Byzantium who gave up their lives ingeniously, but not on their own

2024 Author: Richard Flannagan | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-15 23:55

The Byzantine Empire, which, however, considered itself simply Roman, existed for many hundreds of years. Its emperors usually passed away in one of four ways: from diseases caused by excesses, from poisoning, from the fact that their heads were cut off, or torn to pieces by the crowd. But there were exceptions - some died, let's say, in a more intricate way.

Julian the Apostate died of haste. He tried to conquer Persia and in one of the battles he was wounded with a spear. It got stuck between the ribs, and instead of fixing it with his hand and getting to the healers, the emperor tried to pull it, reducing his chances of survival to zero. Not only did the spear jerk, but the emperor also fell from pain. His side was literally rotated, and he died of profuse bleeding.

Marcian died of piety. According to legend, while on a pilgrimage, he rubbed his legs so badly that gangrene developed.

Several emperors died at once due to hunting accidents. Theodosius, nicknamed the Calligrapher, threw off his horse during the corral of the game, and he broke his back. Basil the Macedonian was dragged all over the forest by a deer, hooking its horns into his belt. The bodyguard, who managed to catch up with the deer (it was not so difficult - it was hard for the animal to drag the emperor in tow) and cut the belt, Vasily accused of attempted murder, and then died from numerous bruises.

John Comnenus, nicknamed the Moor, was hit by an arrow while hunting. The wound was poorly treated and he died of blood poisoning. The subjects, I must say, were very saddened - John was an unusually decent person. By the way, his daughter-in-law was the granddaughter of Vladimir Monomakh - this marriage established peace after a long war with the Kiev prince.

It was dangerous for the Byzantine emperors to go to wash. Valentinian, who was called the ruler, besides Byzantium, also Gaul, Britain and Spain, being young and hot, quarreled with his commander. One summer he was playing in the river with his jesters, the general's bodyguards just came up and strangled the emperor with their bare hands. To make everything look decent, the dead young man was hanged right there on a tree, giving the incident the appearance of suicide. True, hardly anyone believed this: they buried him as a deceased with a "normal" death (according to Christian tradition, suicides are not buried), and the early death was explained by natural ill health.

Emperor Constant II also died during the bath. His servant named Andrei could not endure the temptation and, when the emperor, soaping himself in the bath, bent down, with all his strength pressed him on the head with a basin. The emperor fell face down into the water and drowned. Although there was a version that Andrei was paid for the murder of the Franks, it must be said that Constant was simply very unloved among the people - for fratricide, support for unpopular church politics, and, most importantly, for taxes.

In the bathhouse, they strangled the Emperor Roman III, a kind man who patronized the arts, and, moreover, a mediocre politician. The murder was organized by his wife Zoya after unsuccessful attempts to poison: Roman was sick from the poison, but did not even think about dying. Having become a widow, Zoe began to rule with her sister, greatly surprising her patriarchal subjects with such a move. And she got nothing for it.

The twenty-four-year-old Emperor Gratian (who, however, ruled the western part of Rome, but was the son of the Byzantine emperor) died because of his love for his wife. It was near Lyon, which then, however, was called Lugdunum, that is, in the future France. The enemy of Gratian, the British emperor Magnus Maximus (naturally, a Roman), had a commander named Andragathius from the Black Sea. This Andragathius ordered to build a closed carriage, like the one in which noble ladies moved, harness it with mules and announce near Gratian's camp that the emperor's wife was coming. Hearing the good news, Gratian literally ran up to the cart with open arms - then Andragafy killed him.

The death of Valens II, who protects Byzantium from the invasion of the Goths, is unknown: perhaps he was simply killed on the battlefield and was not found from wearing ordinary military armor. She was remembered by the fact that after his death, Constantinople was saved by two queens: his widow Albia Domnika, the daughter of a simple soldier, and the Arab queen Mavia. Albia Domnika opened warehouses with weapons and distributed them to the townspeople, ordering them to defend the city, and Mavia sent several small Arab troops to help her.

For a long time it was said about Emperor Anastasius the Wicked that he was allegedly killed by a thunderbolt for all his sins. Although against the background of other emperors - who adored debauchery, cruel executions and drunkenness - Anastasius seemed an extremely decent person, even during his lifetime he aroused the suspicion that one eye he had brown and the other blue, which, as you know, happens to witches. But he was called Wicked (much later) for some not very correct church policy. And he died, most likely, because during a strong thunderstorm his pressure, as happens with meteosensitive people, sharply increased. But to onlookers, of course, it looked like death from a thunderclap.

Emperor Basilisk (not a typo) died of gullibility. He was rude and greedy and literally strangled the Byzantines with taxes. It was during his reign that monks revolted and one of the largest libraries of the ancient world - Constantinople - burned down. Unsurprisingly, he was ousted during the coup. Hiding from the conspirators in a church with his family and children, Basilisk nevertheless decided to leave when they promised him that his blood would not be shed. As a result, both Basilisk and his family were starved to death in captivity. No blood was spilled.

Zeno, who turned this insidious scheme, became emperor for the second time in a row (the first time he was removed from the throne by the Basilisk), died, as officially announced, in an epileptic seizure. However, there were rumors that he was simply mortally drunk, laid in a coffin and quickly sealed in a sarcophagus. The soldiers guarding the tomb soon reported to the widow that screams full of horror were coming from the sarcophagus. The widow waited long enough, and then with an anxious face ordered to open the sarcophagus. Zeno by that time literally suffocated in the coffin, and the widow happily married the next emperor, Anastasia the Wicked. She must have been very sick of Zeno's endless drinking - he literally did not dry out.

Constantine VI's mother, Empress Dowager Irina, ordered his eyes gouged out for excessive independence. The measure in Byzantium was very common, but Constantine died from the operation. Perhaps his eyes were gouged out inaccurately, or perhaps he was very sensitive.

Irina was generally a very clear-cut woman. For example, she also chose a wife for her son herself, sending out all over the country the measurements that the bride should fit into, such as: exact height, exact foot length, exact palm size, and so on. Byzantium turned out to be large enough to find the girl, not without torment. The wife of poor Constantine was the Armenian Maria. Armenians in general played a very large role in the history and culture of Byzantium, but Mary managed to make a contribution only after becoming pregnant and having a child. However, he did not inherit his father: the king of the Franks Charles I declared himself the successor of Constantine. Although, of course, no one listened to him.

The father of Constantine, Lev Khazar, did not quite usually die either. Suddenly his head was covered with boils, he fell into a fever and died. According to the widow's version, who immediately began to rule with a young son, Leo died of greed: he allegedly opened the grave of Emperor Heraclius (by the way, an Armenian) to put on his crown, and the crown was all covered in cadaveric poison. True, modern science denies the action of cadaveric poison in this way, but under Irina it worked.

But this list of deaths, I confess, is not the strangest yet. 10 monarchs who went straight from their own closet to the next world would probably agree that they died weirder.