Humorous classification of doctors by specialization: Very funny and very honest

2024 Author: Richard Flannagan | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-15 23:55

Every year on the first Monday in October, doctors are honored all over the world. Who, if not people in white coats, rush to help us when we get sick. Who, if not they, almost daily perform a feat at work. And it doesn't matter whether they are surgeons or orthopedists, dentists or therapists, ophthalmologists or psychotherapists - they all heal our bodily and mental wounds, restore our vision, movement, health and life! The importance of doctors cannot be overemphasized. And on their professional holiday, I would like to wish the doctors patience and grateful patients! And, of course, more kind smiles.

It is not for nothing that they say that laughter is also an excellent medicine, and when taken in doses, it prolongs life. Therefore, it seems that today the good humor from artists and humorist writers will be appreciated, both by the doctors themselves and by their patients. Laugh at your health!

As you know, each doctor has its own specialization, and each specialization has its own characteristics. Here is some of them…

Obstetricians-gynecologists

The most respected doctors in medicine, because they provide work for everyone else.

Therapists

These are not doctors, they are managers. They have no idea how to treat you, but they can tell who knows. Of course, if they know who knows it. But it's not a fact that someone they know knows how to treat you. In general, despite the fact that medicine has made great strides forward, the hope remains only in God.

Surgeons

These are sappers. True, if sappers are wrong only once in their life, then surgeons are wrong only once in your life. Like sappers, surgeons are guided not by accumulated information, but by intuition. And this is our happiness, because in medicine, intuition, as before, is much more reliable.

Otorhinolaryngologists

These doctors have a clear inferiority complex. At first they were called "earworms". But this seemed frivolous to them. Then they began to be called "ENT doctors". But this was not enough for them. Now they have teamed up with speech therapists, because without the help of speech therapists, people cannot pronounce their new name.

Dentists

Sometimes, in order not to be immediately recognized, they call themselves dentists. The most terrible doctors. One happiness, the number of conversations with them for the average person is limited to 32 visits. And for those who do not have wisdom teeth - 28 visits. But smart people have always said that fools live much easier (by 12.5%). So decide for yourself - do you need these wisdom teeth.

Oculists

These prefer to call themselves the more respectable word "ophthalmologists." Unpleasant types who always require you to look at what your eyes would not see.

Gynecologists

The most deprived doctors, since they have half the number of patients than the rest of the Aesculapians. Interestingly, there are practically no men among gynecologists. Because everything is strict in gynecology - either you are a man or a gynecologist. Try 61320 hours a year to look at the most interesting parts of the body of women, and I guarantee you, you will quickly lose interest in them. You can't turn a hobby into a profession.

Neurologists

Theoretically, they can cure everything, except perhaps syphilis and fractures, since all diseases are from nerves. Practically, they are absolutely useless. They tell you, "Don't be nervous," but how you can not be nervous - they themselves have no idea.

Psychiatrists

They only vaguely guess that all the inhabitants of this planet are their patients, but they do not want to face the truth. There is also little benefit from them. Tell me, can another patient help a patient? It is interesting that psychotherapists exist, but psychosurgeons never appeared.

Narcologists

Villains who want to deprive a person of the last joys of life. Probably how they envy us.

Dermatologists

For all the dissonance - very necessary, albeit very unhappy doctors. Are you wondering who lives under your toilet rim and in other hard-to-reach places? No? And they should know every bastard by sight!

Proctologists

Despite the fact that medicine has made great strides forward, these doctors have been and have remained at the … tse.

Anesthesiologists

Very helpful doctors. They make you feel nothing. And if they are wrong, it's even better. In this case, you will no longer feel anything.

Immunologists

The laziest doctors. They are always trying to shift their work onto your body.

Pulmonologists

The only doctors who do not share the misconception of their colleagues that if you quit smoking, all diseases will go away by themselves.

Nutritionists

An absolutely useless product of progress. Some people have nothing to eat, while others cannot eat less without medical advice.

Urologists

Doctors with a very narrow outlook. Unlike sex therapists and sexologists, they consider your manhood solely in terms of its side functions.

Cardiologists

Absolutely devoid of romantic feelings. Only their words “Heart, you don’t want peace” do not cause any positive emotions.

Pharmacologists

If most doctors are engaged in removing excess from the body, then pharmacologists, on the contrary, are trying to cram everything and more into it. And then they observe with interest how the body will react to bullying.

Virologists

Very sociable doctors. It was they who had the rare happiness of expanding their circle of communication almost daily.

Epidemiologists

The same virologists, but megalomaniacs.

Pediatricians

Very cruel people. If all other doctors get to us already at a conscious age, then pediatricians are ready to deprive us of the most beautiful days of our life - our childhood.

Orthopedists

Eliminate the consequences of human bullying over their own body. If a pediatrician begins to take an interest in us from the moment of birth, then we usually find ourselves in the hands of an orthopedist immediately after entering school. In this regard, orthopedists work closely with the Ministry of Education.

Rheumatologists

The most harmless doctors. They usually come to you when sand is already pouring from you and you are already indifferent to the consequences of their treatment.

Physiotherapists

Outright sadists. For some reason, they are sure that if you get a good shock, then it will become much easier for you. Apparently, in childhood, these doctors loved to stick their fingers into the socket and now take revenge on everyone else.

Forensic scientist

The only doctor who does not even try to pretend that he is treating someone.

Pathologists

The most highly professional of all doctors. Only they know exactly what and why you had pain.

On the International Day of the Doctor, I would like to once again thank everyone who is guarding our health.

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