How in Russia girls escaped from sticky suitors

2024 Author: Richard Flannagan | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-15 23:55

Very often in Russia, it was not the young people who agreed about the wedding, but their parents. The expression "endure, fall in love" came from here. The bride was chosen according to the principle "healthy, beautiful, homely", and the groom - "a rich family, a big house, a lot of livestock." But, nevertheless, some girls had to fight off annoying matchmakers. What methods were used to show the unwanted groom that he was not nice, why they said that the bride was dead and what the girl's kiss meant: read the article.

What is a rejected doll and what does it mean to "get a turn from the gate"

Often the groom himself came to woo the bride in the family. It is good if the desire to start a family was mutual, but otherwise a man who was refused could be disgraced. For example, girlfriends of a girl could install a so-called rejection doll at the gate of the rejected groom. It was a pole, to which a doll was tied, made of fabric or other materials at hand.

At the same time, the well-known saying "turn from the gate" appeared. Initially, this meant exactly that the groom was refused. Today this phrase is applicable to any person, not only to the groom. By the way, he could be physically deployed near the gate, not allowed into the house, making it clear that he was not needed. And the guy had to go home incessantly. And if he wooed several girls, and none of them expressed a desire to become his wife, then in this case he could generally remain a bachelor. She had to go to another village and look for a bride where no one knew anything about his shame. There were situations when the girl's parents wanted to marry her off to a specific person, but she did not like him at all, and she loved another. What to do? The following methods were used: the potential bride began to behave horribly. She sarcastically, tormented the groom with whims, showed that she could neither clean nor cook. Sometimes the grooms unnecessary to the girl would give in to such pressure.

There was an even more sinful way. Young people entered into intimate relationships, and after everything happened, they told their parents about it. What was left to do? Of course, hastily give your daughter in marriage to the chosen guy, trying to hide what happened. In the upper strata, the methods were more gentle. Since balls were often held, fans could see their dream there. After that, the man began to siege the girl's house with visits. Just like a peasant woman, an educated young lady could be daring, refuse to leave her room, be capricious. Unfortunately, parents very often forced their daughters to choose the exact groom that was suitable for the family. A profitable marriage was not always happy.

Kiss as a sign of consent to get married

Still, there was some freedom. In high society, girls attended balls after they turned sixteen, holidays and gatherings were held in the villages, where young people and girls communicated with each other. For example, in the village, a guy could try his luck by hugging his favorite beauty and even kissing her. There were two options: in the worst case - a slap, which meant that the good fellow did not like the girl, and in the best - sluggish dismissals, which were undertaken for the sake of appearance and, in fact, showed that the groom has a chance.

There were also such games when gatherings were held: the girl could leave, and at this time the guy sat in her place on the bench. After the girl returned, they demanded a kiss from her. In this case, she could either drive away the insolent person, or kiss him back and even sit on his lap. The second option meant that you can safely marry.

Dead bride and why did the matchmakers roll a pumpkin under their feet?

Men made all sorts of attempts to persuade the girl to marry. For example, a potential groom sent her various gifts and presents. Then it was necessary to wait for the girl to answer. If the guy was to her taste, then he received a present in return. It could be a scarf, on which the inscription "a gift for a loved one", or "to dear Ivan from Maria forever" was embroidered by a girl's hand. If the groom did not like it, then the gift was returned to him.

Despite the fact that girls were often given in marriage without their consent, in many regions parents still went to meet the young. For example, a bridegroom who does not like his daughter came to marry, and the parents go out to the matchmakers with the words that their bride is ugly, crooked and poor. Or they could say that she died altogether and was already in the coffin. It was a kind of game, the matchmakers understood that there was nothing to look for. Sometimes a pumpkin was rolled out under their feet or a strange request might come, for example, to peel a potato. And if the girl's mother grabbed the broom and began to wave it with all her might, so much so that a cloud of dust billowed up around the matchmakers, then the daughter would not be married.

Magic lapel ritual to help get rid of the obsessive groom

When the girl could not drive away the sticky groom in the simplest ways, she could resort to witchcraft. There were various lapel rituals. For example, a girl secretly pinned a pin to the clothes of a young man who was tired of her with her proposals, and at the same time read the conspiracy. Such a ceremony was usually performed when the moon was waning, but it could not be done on Sunday and Thursday. Those girls who did not want to mess with pins used simpler objects, such as an apple. The sour fruit had to be bitten, read the lapel plot, and then the apple was thrown as far from the hut as possible so that it rolled, taking with it all the intentions of the unwanted groom.

Men, when they got married, also had a special relationship. They gave their wives nicknames that modern women would be offended by.