Why it was harder for men to live by the rules of the Russian Domostroi than for women

2024 Author: Richard Flannagan | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-02-17 17:22

The handwritten collection of everyday laws "Domostroy", which appeared in Novgorod in the 15th century, was revered in Russian homes for a long time. Today, it is mistakenly believed that those rules severely limited the rights of women, while at the same time granting extensive privileges to men. But it is worth delving into the content of medieval manuscripts in order to reconsider the erroneous view. In "Domostroy" much more restrictions are addressed just to the strong half of humanity. It is on men, according to the authors of the book, that responsibility for themselves, family, society and fatherland lies.

Craft is not by vocation

Before marriage, the young man obeyed his father unrestrictedly, and it was forbidden to argue with him. Without parental knowledge, the young man had no right to choose a craft for the future. According to traditional Russian foundations, the son continued his father's work. Even the decision to take monastic tonsure was allowed only with the blessing of a parent. Self-will was severely punished. The son who resists the will of the elders in the family could be punished not only with a strong hand, but also with a whip. It was believed that this would not cause significant damage to health, but whitewash thoughts.

The bride is the parents' choice

Today's men are in no hurry to tie themselves by marriage. Under Domostroy, the young man did not have such liberties. He unquestioningly married the one that the parents would choose, and when they saw fit. In fairness, it must be said that the girls were not particularly asked either. A marriage in the "Domostroy" era was completely dependent on parental plans and the ability of future matchmakers to agree on a joint future for the bride and groom. Moreover, those who remained lonely for a long time were considered inferior, and the deliberate refusal to create a family was seen as a deviation from God's will. Instructive texts also condemned the fact that a man left loved ones, deciding to go to a monastery.

The life of a married person is on a strict schedule

After marriage, the guy became, in every sense, the head of the family. "Domostroy" prescribed continuous duties and occupations for him. Free time and idleness were regarded as a path to harmful thoughts. The Domostroevskaya tradition implied that a man should be ready to bear full and main responsibility for his household, as the sovereign is responsible before God for his people. The family was called the initial structural unit of society. The dissolution of the marriage union was out of the question. Even if the spouses could not stand each other and both suffered, there was no chance for such maneuvers. It was also forbidden to live separately, only nominally preserving the appearance of marriage.

At the same time, in order to avoid intra-family disagreements, Domostroy has a number of recommendations for a clear distribution of responsibilities and achieving mutual understanding. The book says that spouses must make decisions about the household together. Moreover, the man was supposed to delve even into the intricacies of this side of family life. Grandfather's traditions instructed the husband to communicate with his wife in a mentoring tone. It was allowed to teach the other half of the mind-mind even with the use of the whip, if the words did not reach her understanding. But all this was allowed against the background of the fact that the man took on the burdens and worries about providing everything necessary for the family and clan.

Domostroevsky man is a reliable breadwinner and a responsible intercessor. This exemplary, in a modern view, a family man had no right to leave his wife to fend for themselves for the sake of some personal expression of will. Moreover, the material and financial responsibility for the spouse and children was not considered an outstanding dignity, and not a single head of the family would even think of boasting about such a circumstance. It was understood that a man of the house-building era does not look at other women, giving all his male attention only to his wife. Mistresses and harems from serfs came to Russia much later - by the 18th century.

Women's affairs are prohibited

All the time of the family man was scheduled literally by the minute. Crafts, prayer and church attendance, meal breaks, parenting, meeting guests, visiting relatives, household chores - such righteous deeds formed a list of “godly” activities. "Domostroy" was critical of any idle pastime and type of male leisure. Some activities that seem quite harmless to a modern person were considered in the 16th century unacceptable in the life of an authoritative head of the family. He was harshly condemned because of the many situations he admitted. Gluttony and abuse of pleasure drinks were denounced. Failure to observe Orthodox fasts and disrespect for religious holidays was considered a mortal sin. Public opinion punished a riotous lifestyle, witchcraft and sorcery.

Men-buffoons, engaged in dancing, games and "demonic singing", were rewarded with neglect. Even bones and chess were condemned. In addition, a decent family Christian should not have earned money from activities such as usury or the sale of alcoholic beverages. There were also such areas of employment that were considered purely female. "Domostroy" clearly prescribed: to teach handicrafts to daughters is the mother's duty, while the father teaches his sons the craft. That is, a worthy man was not supposed to sew, embroider and knit.

Unconditional obedience to the authorities and the church

In addition to family and household male prescriptions, "Domostroy" contained a set of social and church responsibilities. Each man pledged to honor the faith, the church and the sovereign, being ready, if necessary, to resignedly defend the Fatherland. Moreover, the question concerned not urgent, as they would say today, service, but participation in full-fledged hostilities. At the same time, the Russian peasant was not allowed to argue that the ruler or the church infringed on his personal rights. There were also separate prescriptions for relations with worldly authorities. Submission from a man was also required in relations with ordinary officials, who often abused their powers.

Well, women were supposed to be silent. Silent people were forbidden to talk to many, which was meant by "Domostroy".