Russian silencers: Why, when and with whom women in Russia were forbidden to talk

2024 Author: Richard Flannagan | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-15 23:55

Virtuous in Russia was considered a woman who was distinguished by her piety, had a good housekeeping, took care of her family and obeyed her husband. All these norms are spelled out in the well-known "Domostroy". Talkativeness was discouraged, and sometimes women were simply forbidden to speak. Read where a woman could prove herself, with whom to communicate, and what prohibitions existed at that time.

Keep quiet at home, but do the housework

In Russia, it was believed that a woman's lot was home and household, taking care of her husband and children. Russian women rarely left their homes. This rule was especially clearly observed in the boyar and merchant environment. It was not recommended to communicate with strangers, but, in fact, conversations with my husband were not supposed to be too romantic - about business and worries. In "Domostroy" it is written that the wife should consult with her husband every day about housekeeping and talk about the problems that arise. But it was possible to go to visit or call someone to his house only after the permission of her husband. Such rules did not apply to men. Friends and guests could come to them, while the wife served at the table or watched the servants. However, she was forbidden to take part in conversations. For example, the noblewoman was supposed to bring wine to the guests, but after that she had to go to another room and not interfere. Until you need to serve more intoxicating. It's hard to imagine that today.

Where women could talk a lot and why men did not approve of it

Where could women talk? It is impossible to be silent all the time. This could be done in the company of other female representatives. Gathering together, the ladies chatted heartily, gossiped, shared various innermost secrets and so on. The main thing is that all this does not go further. Indeed, in fact, a woman was not supposed to express her opinion - her lot was to obey her husband and work. Of course, there have always been exceptions, when the husband did not just command his wife, but talked to her and consulted on various issues. But nevertheless, in society, there was a certain attitude towards women who were too talkative, and their husbands were reproached for having too talkative wives who did not keep silent, as befits a decent lady.

How chatter could get in the way of the wedding

Sometimes excessive sociability and talkativeness could become the reason that the girl could not get married. This happened if she laughed too loudly, made noise, talked to strangers, did not lower her eyes to the floor when someone looked at her - in this case, she was called shameless. Nobody wanted to marry such a lady, because she "knew no shame." The girls had to be obedient, meek, not show excessive curiosity, but silently deal with the household. An obstinate disposition, aggressiveness, a habit of arguing - these were contraindications for marriage.

Very often, girls were married off without being interested in her desire. Sometimes she and the groom did not even meet before the wedding. But matchmakers have always seen the bride. If an agreement was reached, the groom would also come. In any case, the girl k during all these actions had to behave very modestly. She was forbidden to speak unless asked. Chatterboxes were not in demand, their behavior was considered indecent, and a wedding with such a bride could break down. The bride had to remain silent even at her own wedding. Perhaps this requirement may be related to the fear of the so-called "wedding evil eye". Nevertheless, the woman at the wedding was not supposed to talk to the groom or the guests unnecessarily.

You can't talk on the street, otherwise your husband will punish

It was strictly forbidden for women to talk on the street, especially with strangers. This was possible only if the husband allowed, otherwise they could be severely punished. Talking in church or any other public place with strangers was discouraged. Moreover, even innocent jokes or flirting with a male representative were equated with physical betrayal. The punishment was very cruel. In fact, any manifestations of social activity were perceived as liberty, indecent behavior. In the peasant environment, the rules were less strict. Peasant women not only worked around the house, but also participated in field work together with the men. There you could talk a little, throw a joke, ask for advice.

And not only talk: a little about other prohibitions

Thus, for a married woman, there were rules and norms of behavior. They weren't just about talking. A married woman was obliged to wear clothes befitting her status. It was indecent to walk bareheaded, you should have styled your hair around your head, having previously braided it in braids. It was obligatory to wear a kokoshnik, kitschka or scarf. A woman who broke this rule was perceived as almost a girl of indecent behavior. By doing this, she could disgrace not only herself, but also her husband and parents. It was believed that this is a lack of education. It was also strictly forbidden to contradict her husband in public, as it showed disrespect for the man.

From a female representative, complete submission to her husband was required. She left the house when she was allowed, talked to people and accepted presents when her husband allowed. She even ate when her husband saw it. When the rules were violated, the woman was branded and called ill-mannered and shameless. The same applied to the relationship with the father-in-law and mother-in-law - if she argued with them, then the case could end with a flogging. The daughter-in-law had practically no rights in her husband's family.